My life is falling apart around me and I think I am going to die of boredom. No one tells you about this, do they?
Yeah, yeah, disability and illness is all about pain, difficulty, discrimination and prejudice but, boredom? Where’s the support group for that? Or the protest group? I’d be up for joining either at this point.
Gods, I think back to the ‘sunny’ days of early disability/illness, my naive optimism that I ‘would find a way…’, be dogged, persistent in the face of obstacles and, hah! I am only able to laugh at myself.
In the past two weeks, my hoist has broken - typically on a Sunday, thank goodness I have a spare; the lift is having the same - supposedly fixed - problems that disrupted my life for six months earlier this year; the washing machine has broken down - flooding the kitchen in the process and at midnight (isn’t it always?); and, a light fitting has fallen off the ceiling. It all needs mending/replacing and the pressure is on EaZyD … he is not a man who likes domestic pressure!
The only bit that I am able to help with is researching the washing machine replacement and dealing with the hoist. Hell, at the latter, my heart sank and has stayed sunken at the thought and reality.
I am having to liaise with local social service (SS) occupational therapists (OT), the hoist maintenance company and my care agency because one carer complained, immediately, that using the back-up hoist hurt her back. Cue loads of tense telephone calls, visits from maintenance engineers and the care agency’s ‘mover/handler’ expert, lots of SS administration, a pending OT assessment and basically daily hassle - all because one wheel broke! And no sign of repair/replacement yet.
Drama, crisis, much! I cannot face embarking on another round of the same with the lift company again.
And, it is always so. No smooth process, no efficiency, no understanding of the issues, no actual caring, no urgency.
It all bores me rigid and causes both me and EaZyD untold difficulty on a day to day basis as I have to curtail my activities and cope with the physical outcomes of using inadequate equipment and less than optimal handling processes and he has to pick up the slack.
The only way to get things moving is to keep chasing as calmly as you are able and, eventually - might be weeks, might be months - it will get done. In the interim, you have to smooth ruffled feathers and try to make sure all the essentials are covered as well as possible. You have no control. No options. This is what dependence is all about ... oh, sure, pain, difficulty and discrimination too. Same old ...
Deadly, deadly, dull. No escape. No break. Forever. So, if you were wondering why I am writing less frequently here than usual … it's because even writing about it bores me. You, too? Sorry but do feel free to pass on any ideas you have that might help me or visit my other blog: Plus Black - I'm having more creative, escapist fun over there!
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