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STILETTO – a high pointed HEEL on a woman’s shoe or a small dagger. WHEELS – a medieval instrument of torture or a vehicle for personal mobility. |
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For everyone, the loss of independence is a horrifying thought. I hated it and still do. People say, 'I could never ...' But, they could and they would, just like we do. Over time, which I had (meaning years not a few weeks!), I adopted a position of psychological separation between the essential me, being that which is inside my head, and my physical body, a vessel that I – now uncomfortably - inhabit. This separate-ness enables me to ask for the help I need even where this breaches the personal privacy 'norms' we are all imbued with. Accepting assistance with the physical needs of the ‘vessel’ became a less emotional and more objective issue when the essential me remained independent from this process. Sounds easy? Hmmm, no. Easier than hating my dependence? Maybe. A decade in, I am open, even casual, about my physical limitations with a very small group of people – those I pay, medical professionals, EaZyD. I have got more brazen and upfront generally about my need for help... partly because it is sooo tedious to struggle... I'd rather read a good book! But, I still hate to draw attention to it even with friends and family. It is tough to accept that - whether your independence is lost through illness or accident, or whether you never had it - this is something beyond your control. You, we, have no choice other than to adapt to our situation (I do not say ‘accept’ … get that therapist out of here!). Sometimes, you just need to let go of the anger, the worry, the frustration. There is nothing that can be done...it just is what it is. Make a positive choice to live well with it! |
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