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STILETTO – a high pointed HEEL on a woman’s shoe or a small dagger. WHEELS – a medieval instrument of torture or a vehicle for personal mobility. |
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They say: ‘We’re pretty sure that you have cancer. We’ve ruled out everything else. The test results will be back Monday and should confirm our thinking. Have a good weekend.’ No problem, mate. I shall be out there, living it large, as some people would say. Party on down! Thanks for that. I hope you had a good one! They say: ‘You’ve got to stay positive, haven’t you?’ I am lying in a hospital bed, paralysed in both legs and one arm. The paralysis has been climbing up my body over the past few weeks. My one good arm is going numb and I am struggling to lift it. My neck is weak. My eyes and mouth are not working properly. I look as if I have had a massive stroke. I cannot eat without dribbling, and, I am losing my eyesight. I am really scared and worried that I will lose my mind to whatever horrible illness is affecting me. Does this look like a positive moment? They say: ‘I am so sorry. There is nothing else we can do for you.’ It is a beautifully sunny day in August. There is a cooling breeze in the park. I sit, beneath trees in dappled sunlight, in my wheelchair, EaZyD on a bench in front of me. We have just left my consultant’s office and walked across the road to the patch of green adjacent to the hospital. My consultant seemed disturbed. He has no explanation for me. I have no diagnosis. There is no cure. There are no words. No sounds. No feeling. Tears roll down my face. |
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