STILETTO – a high pointed HEEL on a woman’s shoe or a small dagger.
WHEELS – a medieval instrument of torture or a vehicle for personal mobility.
Occupational therapist: ‘Don't worry, technology has come on apace. You'll be able to open doors with your nose.’
Why would I want to do that? She was so thrilled. I was not. In her world this was a fantastic advance. In mine? I was kind of hoping it was not going to come to this any time soon and that I would respond to medication as I always had every other time!! (This being my 'n'th admittance; her, first time of seeing me.)
Eye doctor, sidling into my room: ‘I forgot to say that we should probably register you as blind. Do you want me to do that?’
Errr, no! My vision has only ever been this bad once - like, now! And, only for the past six weeks! I was kind of hoping... see above for the rest of this sentence, replacing 'her' in the brackets with 'him'. Do none of these people ever read a patients' notes?
A nurse to colleague, at 3am, an emergency department stopover, two feet from my bed: ‘I think we'll catheterise her; it will be easier for us.’
Where to start with this?
Hospitals are not prison. You do not own my ass. We, that's you AND me, collaborate on what is best for both of us.
I will never ask you to do anything that will harm you and I will consider your requests and suggestions.
You will respect me and my knowledge about my illness, my body and how best to manage this.
Thinking that you make the decisions based on the easiest route for YOU - well that just isn't going to happen.