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STILETTO – a high pointed HEEL on a woman’s shoe or a small dagger. WHEELS – a medieval instrument of torture or a vehicle for personal mobility. |
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I hate slagging people/institutions off. Really, I do. I would so much rather that everything went smoothly but, in this world, of illness and disability, that just doesn’t happen and the SS - Social Services - are just the worst by far, in my experience. With too much income (!), the only regular contact I have with the local SS is about my, or rather their, hoist – a piece of easy lifting equipment that is used, several times a day, to shift me from seat to seat, with no pain for me or risk to my carers. Generally reliable, like all mechanical equipment, it occasionally breaks down and I have to contact the SS. You might imagine that there would be a well honed reporting, replacement, repair service for such essential equipment, no? In your dreams - nightmare, every time! Me: my hoist has broken down. Them, variously: What is a hoist? | We have no record of you. | We have no record of you having a hoist. | We will need to get your records and call back. | An OT needs to come and see you. | I need to get an OT to authorise this and there are none in until tomorrow. | We will notify our service engineers and get back to you. (They never do.) Me: I need to use the hoist in the next few hours to go to the toilet. Them, boredom dripping: Oh dear, what will you do? | Oh dear, I don’t know what to do? | This is the procedure, there is nothing I can do. | I will get back to you. (They never do.) Me, increasing desperation: Do you not understand? This is not an aesthetic object. I need to use it...a lot. I will be sitting in urine and faeces soon without it. Them, vacuously: How awful for you. | Well, that does happen. | Oh dear, what will you do? | This is the procedure, there is nothing I can do. | It’s five o’clock, I am finishing now. I can deal with this in the morning, is that OK? (They never do.) |
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